# What I'm Reading #reading ## Must Reads These are my (current) must read for having an incredible life. This section deserves some more in depth commentary on the selections. I originally thought there would be at least 5 but only 3 really made this cut so far ### Say What You Mean by Oren Sofer You've probably at least heard of nonviolent communication (NVC), which is a horrible name for a terrific concept. Marshall Rosenberg coined the term and wrote several books on the subject, however they are highly technical and the unintended result is that NVC is quite often weaponized rather than facilitating deeper connection. Oren Sofer solves this problem by focusing on internal experience and intent in communication, rather than the verbiage used. Correct communication is defined as communication that builds connection, full stop. No fancy words needed. I don't think I've read any other book that so universally applies to every aspect of my life and provides a whole sweater full of threads to pull. ### Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman No matter what field you work in, understanding the human psychology expounded in this book will advance your career. I've also found that having a deeper understanding of how flawed human judgement truly is helps me have compassion for people. It's much easier to have grace for someone who is simply running into the limits of their biology, as opposed to believing that they are consciously making bad choices or are, perhaps, just plain stupid. ### A New Earth by Ekhart Tolle If you're just going to read one book on spirituality, read this one. Very accessible for the modern Western human and relatively low woo factor, it's like a little glimpse into Buddhist philosophy. Learning even basic non-identification has really changed my life in a very profound way. ## Poetry Coming Soon ## Healthy Communication & Relationships ### Say What You Mean See above for review #### Mating in Captivity ## Dysfunctional Relationships ### Power Of Attachment This is the best book I've read on attachment theory. It offers a path forward to healing your insecure attachment style. "Attached" is the most popular book but it tends to make insecure people feel damaged and as if there's no hope. This book is under dysfunctional relationships because my personal belief is that any relationship that involves significant attachment insecurity is bound to be dysfunctional. Functional relationships are only possible with some degree of individual security. ### Whole Again If you have ever been in a relationship with a pwNPD or pwBPD (person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or person with Borderline Personality Disorder) then this book is for you. It teaches you to dig in until you find your core wound and heal it, which is the key to not being attracted to abusive people. ## Backpacking ### The Ultimate Hiker's Gear Guide Andrew Skurka's classic. Excellent book for how to _think_ about building your backpacking gear kit. Everyone has a different set of skills, needs, and goals in the outdoors so there is no one size fits all approach to backpacking gear. ## Tech ### Elegant Puzzle ### Staff Engineer ### Build